Of course, women tame men. It is in the natural order of masculine-feminine integration. But sometimes, in modern times, women tame men too much. And then the woman regrets it. The sexual tension of polarity is disrupted.
Essayist Brook Allen could just as easily have said that women are sometimes enchanted by dark-triad fuck-boys. It is ubiquitous to the point of boring to hear about how women chose the “wrong” guy. Chemistry and the unconscious hope of protection/security often supersede a woman’s assessment of character in their first marriage.
The marriage effect is real. As you implied, sexual access is ALWAYS the “bigger bargaining chip.” Men are willing to be tamed to stay in the bedroom.
Marriage may keep men out of poverty (providing will keep the woman happier), but the cause and effect are blurred here. Impoverished men do not get chosen, so they don’t marry in the first place.
Testosterone and aggression are a bit tricky to isolate and correlate. I did not quite understand your comment, “There goes the allure of the bad boy,” in your talapoin monkey example.
Anyway, one thing is for sure. Dorothy Parker had it right, “if you wear a short skirt, the party will come to you.” Do you want to tame us out of war games (ala Lysistrata)? No problem. Just don’t deny us sex. (Of course, we go to war to win territory and sex partners - so there is also that.)
For a heterosexual man, sexual access is the prime directive, marriage or not.
BTW, most of my boomer male friends have been tamed so much it is painful to watch. And they are getting no sex to boot. They are just happy not to be criticized as much.
(From one of the “science bros” – the rich and established science of evolutionary biology and psychology.)
Do Women Tame Men?
Of course, women tame men. It is in the natural order of masculine-feminine integration. But sometimes, in modern times, women tame men too much. And then the woman regrets it. The sexual tension of polarity is disrupted.
Essayist Brook Allen could just as easily have said that women are sometimes enchanted by dark-triad fuck-boys. It is ubiquitous to the point of boring to hear about how women chose the “wrong” guy. Chemistry and the unconscious hope of protection/security often supersede a woman’s assessment of character in their first marriage.
The marriage effect is real. As you implied, sexual access is ALWAYS the “bigger bargaining chip.” Men are willing to be tamed to stay in the bedroom.
Marriage may keep men out of poverty (providing will keep the woman happier), but the cause and effect are blurred here. Impoverished men do not get chosen, so they don’t marry in the first place.
There is a general male sex deficit, https://www.matingstraighttalk.com/the-male-sexual-deficit-social-fact-of-the-21st-century/ but attractive men on campus have a ratio advantage – causing more lousy behavior – more violence (rule-breaking) makes sense. “Big mother” (a woman to impress and win) is always a pacifier.
Testosterone and aggression are a bit tricky to isolate and correlate. I did not quite understand your comment, “There goes the allure of the bad boy,” in your talapoin monkey example.
Anyway, one thing is for sure. Dorothy Parker had it right, “if you wear a short skirt, the party will come to you.” Do you want to tame us out of war games (ala Lysistrata)? No problem. Just don’t deny us sex. (Of course, we go to war to win territory and sex partners - so there is also that.)
For a heterosexual man, sexual access is the prime directive, marriage or not.
BTW, most of my boomer male friends have been tamed so much it is painful to watch. And they are getting no sex to boot. They are just happy not to be criticized as much.
(From one of the “science bros” – the rich and established science of evolutionary biology and psychology.)