Have Women Replaced Real Men with Fantasy Men?
From "romantasy" to alien-shaped dildos, women are replacing reality with fantasy. Are we expanding our sexuality or trying to escape it?
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A friend of mine recently confessed to me that she has not had sex with her husband in over a year. Yes, an entire year. She brushed it off as no big deal, as if her relationship was a cactus that needed little watering.
I asked an obvious question. “Don’t you miss sex?”
She reached into her bag and coyly responded, “I have something far better…”
And then she pulled out a dogeared romance novel and handed it to me. On the cover, a half-naked Viking warrior with long hair, an impish grin, and bulging pecs held a Midjourney-esque heroine in the usual feral embrace. In the distance, lightning tore through a brackish sky, casting a firey glow on their agonized expressions. I wasn’t sure if the couple was horny or constipated. Maybe both. (This is why I don’t write bodice rippers.)
It may surprise sci-fi geeks, but romance novels are still the highest-earning fiction genre. While fiction sales flatten each year, romance novels have increased 52.4% in sales. That’s a lot of bored homemakers running away with their Viking lovers.
But these ovary-dropping man candies have nothing on the latest genre burning up bookshelves – Romantasy – a portmanteau for romance and fantasy. Forget vampires. Now, women can escape to an orgasmic utopia and have endless raunchy sex with the fairy king. Last year, Bloomsbury author Sarah J. Maas’s Romantasy books brought in £61 million ($104 million Cdn) — more than the Harry Potter series.
The heartthrobs in Romantasy are similar to traditional chiclit heroes. The protagonist is usually some tragically misunderstood, brooding bad boy who rapes and pillages. But that is where the similarities end. In Romantasy, the heroines are not blushing vixens capitulating to their handsome captors. These femme fatales are on an epic quest to save the world with unapologetically kinky abandon. Forget 50 Shades of Gray. This is 50 Shades of Rainbows and Unicorns.
I researched some of the hottest Romantasy titles so you wouldn’t have to. The #1 bestselling Romatasy on Amazon is Gilded Wings: A Dragon Shifter Romance by Jaymin Eve.
Any sane reader should ask an obvious question—what the heck is a “dragon shifter,” and why do they need romance? Hold that thought…
In this page-turner, a human wanders into a fairy world and is captured by Drager, who is no ordinary fae (fairy) but a dragon shifter - a human who can shift into dragon form and set the sheets on fire with one breath. The jacket flap teaser says it all:
“The fae use humans for two reasons: entertainment, and well, you can use your imagination for the other.”
No, Ms. Eve, my imagination is coming up blank. I thought fairies only stole your teeth. Now, they sprout scales and ravage you in bed. Bridget Jones’s office rom-com suddenly appears rather quaint.
But when I searched the jacket flaps and reviews of the bestselling Romantasy, one word repeatedly popped up - escape. These books allow readers to escape heteronormative ideals and fantasize about sex with creatures that are not, well…men.
However, Romance and Romantasy novels are not the only way women are escaping partnered sex. While it was once taboo to have a vibrator hidden in your nightstand, now it is a positively mandatory weapon in any single girl’s war chest. Consequently, in 2022, the global sex toy market was valued at $41.3 billion and is predicted to surpass 75.73 billion by 2030.
But lately, I have noticed sex toy manufacturers are not crafting phallic-shaped toys anymore. Instead, the hottest-selling sex toys are blobby, tentacled, alien-shaped vibrators and dildoes. These glow-in-the-dark anthropomorphic toys come replete with ridges, bumps, and enough appendages to rival a horny centipede. They make sticking one of Gwyneth Paltrow’s jade eggs in your lady bits look positively banal.
I hate to wreck all the fun, but some of these toy shapes were clearly inspired by animals.
Dick pics coming…make sure your boss is not over your shoulder.
I am guessing most women don’t fantasize about sex with porcupines. So, if you love odd-shaped dildoes, I hope I didn’t wreck it for you.
Either way, I find drawing inspiration from chimp dicks odd when the humble penis is an evolutionary masterpiece designed for her pleasure. Unlike hard sex toys and the rigid penises of other species, a man’s boner has no bone or baculum. This flexibility allows the penis to mold into a boomerang shape inside the vaginal canal and hit the G spot.
This requires another anatomy illustration…
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