5 Kinds of Female Orgasms That Do Not Exist
And one that does. Let's break down the anatomy of female pleasure.
So help me, God…If I see one more unsourced junk science article on "different types of female orgasms," I am going to throw my copy of Gray's Anatomy at someone’s head. (And it's a rather heavy tome.)
We have a problem in sex education rooted in some dark history - we do not want to recognize the clitoris as the source of female pleasure.
It makes sense when you look back at history. When men first found the clitoris, they tortured women for it.
In 1486, The Malleus Maleficarum, the raging misogynist guide of its day, taught that if a man found a tiny nub of protruding flesh between her labia, then you better hide her broomsticks. A clitoris was a sign the woman was a witch.
Of course, they didn't call it a clitoris. Medical examiners called it a "devil's teat" because Satan and his imps garnered supernatural powers by suckling off of it. (If only women could have convinced men that they would get magical powers from suckling it too.)
The belief that the clitoris fed the devil continued into the sixteenth century. In 1593, Alice Samuel was accused of witchcraft, stripped naked, and examined for the devil's teat. Unfortunately, the witch hunters found her clitoris, and Alice was hanged for witchcraft.
She wasn't the only one to suffer for her shameful anatomy. In the early twentieth century, doctors believed the clitoris caused "hysteria," or female melancholia. They cured these hysterical ladies (and children) by performing clitorectomies — surgical removal of the clitoris.
Throughout history, women had to hide their shameful clitoris or risk the consequences. It's no wonder it took so long to find it.
Today, we continue to spread misinformation regarding female pleasure. Here are a few of those myths.
The clitoral orgasm
Let’s start with the one orgasm that is not rainbow-farting unicorns - the clitoral orgasm.
The clitoris has confused medical professionals because ninety percent of it is hidden beneath the surface. The nub or "teat" that people mistake for the whole enchilada is the glans clitoris — similar to the head of the penis. In actuality, the clitoris contains a bundle of nerves that reach deep inside, beyond the glans clitoris.
The average size of the entire clitoris is approximately the same as a penis — 5.1 inches or 12.95 centimeters. And just like the penis, the clitoris swells from 50 to 300 percent during arousal.
You are welcome to call the glans a "button." (I personally prefer "door knocker" because it is rude to enter without knocking first.) But please stop calling the clitoris a button, pea, nub, devil's teat, or anything that ignores the whole structure beneath the surface.
I am sure men would get ornery if a woman only stimulated the head of their penis and ignored the rest.
The vaginal orgasm
We can thank Freud and his coke-snorting days for this myth. Freud taught that there were two types of orgasm — "an immature clitoral orgasm" and a "mature vaginal orgasm." Only prepubescent girls high on romance novels experienced the clitoral orgasm. Mature vagina owners experienced a vaginal or "real" orgasm. And, of course, the vaginal orgasm was superior because it required a penis penetrating a vagina.
Over a century later, men still think women have two kinds of orgasms. Even worse, some still erroneously believe that the party doesn't start until a penis penetrates a vagina. Since only 18% of women can orgasm from penetration alone, some never get on the VIP list.
So here's the truth — the vaginal orgasm doesn't exist.
When in an unaroused state, the crus clitoris points out toward the thighs. When aroused, the crus clitoris engorges with blood and hugs the vaginal canal. So when penetration feels pleasurable for vagina owners, she is feeling the clitoral network through the walls of her vagina. Freud had this one completely wrong.
The G-spot orgasm
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to Conversations with Carlyn to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.